I have a thing, it’s become unconscious at this point, and it can change my mood in half a second…and I think I like it most when I notice and I’m not even trying to..feels more like a sign.
I look for heart shapes. No, I’m not 14.
I look Everywhere. I saw one in a waffle yesterday. I see them in cracks on the ground. I see them in rocks. In cactus. I saw them in my scrambled eggs this morning. I saw one in a drop of blood on cotton last week…my patient was totally relaxed and I pulled the cotton away and start shrieking that she has a heart shaped blood splat. (Sorry about the shrieking)
I can be having the worlds worst day, like a “kill me now” kind of day, And I’ll be sitting in traffic and look up and see a heart shaped cloud and like THAT, my mood has shifted.
Literally. It’s that easy to shift my “ends of days, day” to “Oh my god, look at that heart in the sky!” And I look around to see if anyone else notices and when they don’t I absolutely think it’s there just for me. A sign.
From who? I don’t much care. I still have this glimmer of a thought that’s its prophetic.
And I wonder, if it’s so easy for a random heart shape to dynamically shift my world…why is it so hard to just do that for myself? I mean, it’s not like I want to feel like crap…It’s not like I woke up and thought, “I’m gonna make this a super bad day…just because it’s Tuesday.”
And yet, I wake up like that some days. Don’t you? Like the first thing you do is drop a plate with your just made breakfast on it… and you’re like, “that’s it, I should go back to bed…this day is not going to turn out well.”
Or I wake up very early to my dog vomiting. Yeah. Day not going to go my way.
And that’s really the opposite of my heart sign, isn’t it? That’s the same energy…I’m triggered by something and then I make it my mission to be put off by it and destroy everything else that comes near me.
Or I see a heart and I’m filled with awe and wonder and love and good feelings.
One sucks. One doesn’t.
And even that is polarizing. One is easier. One is asking me how much I can be present, breathe, take care of something without making it more than it is, and carry on.
As I write this I realize that’s EXACTLY what I do with the hearts…but I assume it’s a GOOD sign by some benevolent being. But when I break a plate with my breakfast on it and everything is ruined…it’s some evil energy coming to punish me.
Are you seeing this?
I’m actually giving myself an Ah-Ha as I write this!
Here is the challenge. To see the thing that makes you forgive and the thing that makes you regret as the same. The broken plate becomes just that. An opportunity to clean the floor. An opportunity to be more present and careful (I won’t be perching that plate on the corner anymore!). To thank the circumstance for being something easy to address and feel like that sign was a great warning, lesson, teaching.
Not everything can be roses, right? (Man do I love roses)
Sometimes we need an encircling of love. And sometimes we need a little teaching, a little reminder.
Well, I have learned something. Thanks for giving me this forum to figure my stuff out! 🙂
What are your signs? What’s the thing that always makes you smile? (Mine used to be this photo of my nephew in the sink getting a bath with this incredible look on his face.). It still makes me smile to think of it.
It’s good to stack these up for those days that are more emotionally cloudy.
And how can you go back to those days that triggered the hell out of you, and practice reframing them? How can they be lessons out to teach you, instead of the devil coming to exact a toll?
The hearts vs the broken plate…same coin….different days. I feel like this gives me a freedom to not judge or make assumptions I didn’t even realize I was unconsciously making. Cool.